


The Beginning

by mochipii



Series: Nanaba's Story [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Domestic Violence, Father-Daughter Relationship, Other, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past physical abuse, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25751992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochipii/pseuds/mochipii
Summary: Nanaba's early life.
Relationships: Nanaba / Nanaba's father
Series: Nanaba's Story [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978147
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Beginning

She doesn't know why she stayed. She stayed on her line, that means she agreed to be the newest member of the Survey Corps, along with another thirty something individuals. She realized that she never thought about it before, decision of which division she would go after her graduation. For three years she heard people around her talking about the Survey Corps, The Garrison and The Military Police. Everyone have their own ideas on what each divisions are like, why they want to join them and work their asses in the training accordingly. Especially for those who wished to join The Military Police, because unless you are in the top ten in your class, you couldn't join them. Most would just be happy to join The Garrison, for a more stable life. Well, those two divisions are always deemed to be the safest divisions to join. I mean, nobody with a sane mind would voluntarily join the suicide squad, right?

Lying in her bunk bed that night, Nanaba still couldn't wrap her own mind about her decision for not moving from her line earliear. She remembered the reason she joined the military training. She remembered the time when she heard the neighborhood kids talking about going to enlist to the military training. She was eleven. She remembered she counted the days for her to turn twelve and finally be able to leave her home. To escape her father. 

She remembered that three months before she turned twelve, her mother died and her nightmare begins. Her father has always been a violent person. The sight of her mother's skin embelished with bruises has always been a normal for her, but her mother always smiled, telling her it's nothing, she hit door while carrying stuff, or of that kind. All her life she knew what kind of monster her father was, but her mother assured her that he wasn't, that he had his reasons for doing what he did. Her mother always comfort her and ask her to smile after she witnessed a violent episode and she always smiled because that would made her mother happy. 

The violence never extended to her, but she felt it all the same. Her cheek stung when her father slapped her mother. Her upper arm would be sore in the morning, at the same place a bruise formed in her mother's upper arm. Her head hurt when her father grab her mother's hair and slammed it against the kitchen table and felt something wet running down her temple where her mother's skin split.

Then, her mother died. In her sleep, the doctor said. Nanaba's just glad that now her mother wouldn't feel pain anymore.

Two weeks after she buried her mother, her father turned into another demon. That night, she was awoken to something touching her leg. Half awake, her minds came up with weird ideas, at first she thought that there was a bug on her leg, then snake. The thought frightened her so much, she jumped and pull herself to the head of her bed, tucking her legs tightly against her body. Then she saw him. Sitting at the end of her bed, body leaning forward, frozen now, surprised by the way Nanaba woke up. She heard him scoff, mumbling something about her long legs, stood up and leave. Nanaba only sleep for a few hours after that night. 

On the forth day, the fatigue of working all day in the landlord's farm and lack of sleep really catching up to her. That morning when she woke up and start to work around the kitchen, she felt like she was floating. She felt like she suddenly fall asleep while standing up over the stove, preparing breakfast for her father. She dropped her father's plate onto the floor. Wasting the only egg they have that week and a few precious slices of meat. She didn't remember much, but she woke up sometimes later looking up to the kitchen ceiling. The house was quiet. Nanaba tried to piece things together, since the last thing she remembered was plating her father's breakfast, but why now she was waking up from the kitchen floor?

She got up slowly, and went to the back of the house where they keep a big barrel of clean water. She scoop some with a bucket and with her hands she washed her face, heart skips a beat when she felt some crust by the hairline. Using her fingernails, she picked it and saw a flake of something red. Blood? she runs her fingers through her head, looking for the open wound, hissed when she found it. It stopped bleeding but the sting remains.

The next day she woke up and force herself to go to the kitchen and prepare for the day. Her day on the farm now seems to be the happiest days of her life, she gets to stay away from her father who worked in the field. During her lunch break, one of her friends asked her if she's okay? She said that she is. Then this friend went on about how she heard shouting and screaming from her house, on her way to the farm. This friends voiced her concerned that Nanaba's father would treat her the way he treated his wife when she was alive, because she also said she heard Nanaba screaming for her father's forgiveness and promise to be a good girl. 

Before she could answer, three boys who also worked in the farm, joined them and started to talk about going to the military training and joining some regiment, or corps or something. Nanaba found herself drifted into the boys' conversation and on her way home that afternoon, ideas forming in her head. On how she would go to the city, what would she bring with her, wondering if the little money her mother left her and her own little savings would be enough to buy her freedom.

She spent more times with the boys in order to gain as much information about this new life she's set her eyes upon. Ending up agreeing that the four of them will go together to the city on the second day after her birthday date. Considering her twelveth birthday is a week away, she started to prepare herself. Setting aside her decent clothes, which is not much, wrap them in old curtains her mother kept in her wardrobe chest, counting the money she hid under the loose plank near the foot of her bed everytime she comes back home. Making sure her father haven't found them. 

A day after her birthday, she found herself already stopped caring about the bruises on her arms and the daily sting on the cheek her father gave her. That night she went to sleep on her side, hugging her pillow with a smile on her face, and a mind in a new life in the Cadet Corps.

***

She remembered this feeling, of feeling something heavy on her back, of not being able to move in her sleep. She recite every prayers she remembered, whishing the heaviness will go away soon, when she felt something slither from her waist. She commanded herself to wake up, her mind is awake and aware, but somehow her eyes are still closed. She yell at herself to wake up. Do something! Don't just lie there. 

This thing is now rubbing her stomach, up and down, up and down. Wake up, you idiot! she shouts again. The thing is now going further up to her chest and now rubbing her chest. Finally she felt her eyes open and looked back to where her father was. Behind her, with his hands inside her night dress. She started to bucked and try to push her father away, but he's too strong for her. She struggled but he was relentless, giving her a couple of backhand to her face until she saw stars. Her head met the wall and few of her hair plucked from her scalp when she tried to push him away again. Not sure if she's asleep or awake, she faintly remembered a face pressed closely against her face, neck, chest and hand between her legs while her body is being crushed by a boulder.

The chill woke her up, blindly patting around her for her blanket. When her hand couldn't find it, she forced her eyes to open and look on the floor where her blanket is. Picking it up, she noticed that her lower half was now uncovered. She light up the candle on the bedside table and see that her legs are spread open, her night dress' hem on her waist. There's wetness between her legs.

With the sleep ruined, she picks up the candle and walk to the back of the house to get some water. In the window reflection she saw her miserable face, her swollen temple, her messy hair. She went back to the kitchen and find a scissors in her sewing box. She cut all of her hair, as best as she can, under the candle light with the kitchen window as her mirror. She was shivering while she wash herself clean of the filth and the hair she just cut off. Going back to her room, she made sure to close her door tightly and goes to her wardrobe chest, collecting her prepared belongings and stuffing them into her mother's travel bag. After changing her outfit, she goes to the loose plank under her bed and picked up the money pouch. Thanking the heavens after counting them and found nothing is missing. She split the money into another pouch and stuffed it between her clothing in the bag. The other pouch goes inside her dress pocket.

She stepped out of the house the instant she heard the rooster. Closing the gate of her house with trembling hands, she took a deep breath and walked to the meeting point she and the boys have agreed on so that they can go together to the city.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing Nanaba's death this plot pops in my head. She's my favourite minor character in AoT. I hate the way Nanaba died. I want to hug her. Nanaba needs a hug.  
> I honestly hate this story because I hate the fact that there's a possibility something like this is actually happening to her. I hope I'm just overthinking.
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy.


End file.
